


The pendant of feels

by Dontthrowsticksatme (dontthrowsticksatme)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aromantic Draco Malfoy, Feelings Realization, Head Boy Harry Potter, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Magical Artifacts, POV Draco Malfoy, Queerplatonic Relationships, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27796507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontthrowsticksatme/pseuds/Dontthrowsticksatme
Summary: Draco's necklace is lost: the one that makes his fears disappear. Head Boy Potter insists on helping him find it.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	The pendant of feels

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Infuse With Affection, Enchant With Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20652239) by [bafflinghaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bafflinghaze/pseuds/bafflinghaze). 



Clothes, books, parchments and quills were scattered across the dorm room. His bed was undone, the sheets on the floor and Draco’d had a hard time resisting the urge to flip even the mattress.

It wasn’t underneath the bed – It wasn’t in his bag – or his trunk! And it wasn’t in the pockets of any of his clothes!

However much it pained him, he had to admit defeat. His pendant was gone. His dearest possession, the one thing he could rely on to make him feel better – gone. Vanished from the face of the earth… or so it seemed.

‘Someone stole it!’

‘Why?’ drawled Nott. Goyle and he were lazily watching Draco from Crabbe’s old bed, while eating a whole box of chocolate cauldrons.

‘Stupid necklace,’ added Goyle.

‘It’s not very manly,’ said Theo, ‘a necklace. Is it?’

‘Cheers, buddy!’ Draco snarled.

As if it was meant to make him look manly! It was his support system, his safety net. It held him up in these dire times of need.

There was no way he was going to tell anyone this, though. For starters, they would think Draco infinitely weak for being dependant on anything; and second, if everyone knew of its amazing properties, he could most certainly whistle for getting it back.

With a deep sigh he slumped down on his bed. The heirloom had survived eight centuries of Malfoys, but it did not survive three months of Draco. How would he ever tell his mother?

With a little wiggle, he forced himself to sit up straight and not give up so easily. It got lost somewhere in the castle, so he reckoned somebody must have found it. And if somebody found it, they ought to give it back.

‘I’m going to Slughorn!’

Their Head of House should know what to do in case of stolen property.

‘Dear boy,’ Professor Slughorn said – making Draco grit his teeth, ‘I’m sure you’ll find it. Where did you last see it?’

‘Around – my – neck,’ Draco snarled.

‘If it’s important to you, ask the Head Boy and Girl for help.’

Draco squinted. ‘Right…’

So that was a dead end, he concluded as he walked back to the Great Hall, where he was sure he’d last touched the pendant. Partly due to the soothing effects of the heirloom, Draco’d been on better terms with their current Head Boy than he'd been in the seven years before, but they weren’t exactly friends.

Already, Draco could feel himself slipping back to the days before he wore the necklace: anxious, quick-tempered, proud and sensitive. The pendant had made it easier to ignore certain people, and he managed to act polite to others, friendly even, or at the very least normal. Before he got it he’d felt so angry with everyone all the time. What if he was descending back to those old, familiar ways?

With his eyes fixed on the stone tiles of the floor, he didn’t notice the group of students lulling around by the doors to the Great Hall.

‘Oy, Malfoy! What are you ferreting about for?’

Draco jumped – another thing his pendant could have prevented.

A group of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws was sniggering at Weasley’s choice of words. The guy had a lot more confidence since the war ended, and even more still since his BFF became Head Boy.

‘I’m trying to find my will to live, Weasley,’ Draco drawled, making everyone look uncomfortable. Served them right, he thought. The war had changed him, so that even his humour and sneers had faded to self-deprecating jokes.

He kept searching. 

‘Malfoy – ’ Instinctively, Draco slammed away the hand on his arm. It belonged to Head Boy Potter, looking ever so friendly. ‘Did you lose something? I can tell the Prefects to keep an eye out for it – as Head Boy, I mean.’

Draco couldn’t even look at the guy anymore. He’d simply hated him before, but everything got infinitely more annoying and complex since he’d failed to rat Potter out to the Dark Lord, and even more after Potter’d saved Draco’s damned life in return. Spending years thoroughly burning all bridges for a war Draco’d eventually lost, did not aid in their connection either. It had taken him far too long to realise he’d been a right jackass, and now each time he looked at Potter, he felt a wave of guilt, shame and discomfort. 

With the pendant on his chest, those past experiences had made him act humble – without it, he quickly reverted to jeering and insults.

‘Oh, are you Head Boy now, Potter?’ he sneered. ‘I had no idea! Ah – hang on, I think I remember you mentioning it. Once… or twice… every minute… since the start of the year.’

‘I didn’t choose to be,’ said Potter, shrugging. ‘I guess McGonagall just likes me.’

Draco watched him in disbelief. ‘Oh do you now? So you don’t suppose it had anything to do with defeating the Dark Lord, in any way or form? You know: dying for the cause, that whole business? That’s no guarantee for being a proper Head Boy these days then, is it?’

Potter merely blinked at his rant. The grandest achievement of their lifetimes seemed to have slipped his mind for a hot sec. Draco shook his head.

‘Tell me what you’re looking for,’ Potter ordered.

Draco’d always found it hard to resist Harry Potter’s moxie; not looking at him helped, he’d discovered.

‘Malfoy,’ Potter insisted.

‘No.’ The word sounded muffled, as Draco was bending over the benches along the Slytherin tables to see if his necklace had slipped underneath it. He searched the entire length of the table, but there was no trace of it. A triumphant whoop escaped him when he found a Chocolate Frog Card he didn’t have yet. After dusting it off, he shoved it in his back pocket.

To his surprise Potter was still standing behind him, watching him with folded arms.

‘What–…! Don’t you have something to do?’ Draco snapped.

‘What are you looking for?’ Potter repeated. He had that same look in his eyes Draco’d seen in their sixth year, when he’d been so obsessed with finding out what Draco was working on.

It made him feel like stomping his feet. ‘Why do you care?’ he groaned with his head in his neck in frustration

‘As Head Boy – ’

Draco couldn’t help laughing loudly.

‘ – I need to know what’s going on. I want to help.’

Draco shot him a look, but Potter seemed frank. As if he actually, genuinely wanted to help. The guy was an utter mystery to Draco, and, if he was being honest with himself, it fascinated him deeply.

In a moment of weakness, Draco gave in. ‘It’s… a pendant.’

‘A pendant?’

‘Oh Merlin, I forgot– ’ Closing his eyes, Draco focussed on a powerful Accio. When nothing happened he opened his eyes and scratched his head.

That should have worked, he reckoned, except perhaps if the person who stole it was somehow able to quickly block the spell. It must be a powerful witch or wizard.

‘Like… a necklace?’

‘Totes magotes,’ Draco answered absentmindedly, scratching his ear. Potter snorted and Draco looked round at him. ‘It’s an heirloom, fool. More ancient than you could grasp, and unmeasurably valuable to my poor mother.’

‘Right…’ said Potter. ‘And why are you bringing your mom’s unmeasurably valuable jewellery to the Great Hall again?’

Exasperated, Draco lifted and dropped his arms. ’Does it matter? I desperately need it back. The finder can get everything left of my dignity – Put that on the posters, Heady Boy.’

Potter looked away to hide a smile, then cleared his throat. ‘What’s it look like?’

There was no escaping a Harry James Potter in terrier-mode. Stalking back through the Entrance Hall, Draco dutifully described the necklace while Harry trailed after him.

‘What’s so special about it?’ Potter asked, scratching the back of his neck.

‘None of anyone’s business.’

Potter cut him off just before the steps down to the Dungeons. ‘Is it Dark?’

‘Touch and die,’ Draco grumbled with clenched fists.

‘The necklace or you?’

Draco just glared.

‘What’s it do, Malfoy?’ Potter pressed.

His obsessiveness put an idea in Draco’s head. ‘I’ll tell you what,’ he said, perking up, ‘find my pendant and as a reward I let you know what it does.’ With a smug look he pushed past the Head Boy. ‘Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back, Luna says.’

When he got a surprising lack of retort to that, he whirled around to show his baffled nemesis a theatrical wink, and with his hands in his pocket he made his way to the Slytherin Common Room, whistling a tune of the Weird Sister’s latest album and feeling very proud for a change. Somehow, he’d managed to get The Boy Who Lived hooked on his search! Now, he could just lay back and wait.

//

Saturday morning, at the crack of dawn, Draco got shaken awake by one of the Slytherin prefects. Bolting upright, he snatched his wand, and his overwrought reflexes had him jump out of bed.

‘Huh? What?’

The Prefect looked as sleepy as Draco felt. ‘The Head Boy demands your presence.’

Groaning, Draco fell back in his blankets. ‘Tell him to stuff it.’

‘Was afraid he’d say that,’ came a voice from the other end of the dorm. Potter’d just sauntered in. ‘Do you think I enjoy solving other people’s problems, Malfoy?’

‘Yes, Potter, you clearly get off on it.’

Through half-closed eyes, Draco watched Potter nodding at the prefect and stepping aside to let her pass. ‘I thought you wanted to find this thing,’ he said. ‘I’m doing this for you, you know.’

‘Then don’t,’ growled Draco into his pillow.

Something landed on his chest and he sat up in shock. It was a pair of pants. ‘Potter! Sod off!’ A shirt hit him in the face. He snatched it away as Potter laughed.

Draco quickly looked away; the light in his eyes was contagious.

‘Come on, you prat. I’ll wait outside.’

For some reason – it might have been sheer sleepiness – Draco did as he was told and got dressed. Eyes heavy with sleep, he shuffled into the common room, where Potter was inspecting the hundreds of names scratched into the windowsills. It was traditional to leave a mark there after graduating.

‘Voldemort’s on here,’ Potter said.

In two steps Draco had reached him and squinted at the scribbles: Tom Marvolo Riddle, 29 June 1945.

His eyes darted to their Head Boy. The guy’d been in their Common Room for three seconds and noticed something Draco had missed in over seven full years.

‘You’re – ’ Draco shook his head and bit his tongue. He’d almost uttered a compliment, at Harry sodding Potter. Quickly, he straightened his back. ‘Who’d have guessed? Now, what’s the plan, Stan?’

‘I think we should retrace your steps.’

‘Genius!’ Draco jeered. ‘Here I was, searching everywhere: the Forbidden Forest, the bottom of the lake, Pansy’s underwear drawer… I should’ve simply retraced my steps!’

‘Shut– ’

‘I see why they call you The Chosen One!’ He grabbed Harry’s hands between his. ‘Ohh, you’re worth your money already.’

‘Right…’ Potter pulled away and picked up where he left off, unbothered. ‘We could go to Filch. And then we can check all the classrooms, just to be sure.’

Draco eyed him in suspicion. ‘For real, Potter, don’t you have anything better to do? Anything at all?’

It didn’t escape Draco’s attention that the guy pointedly looked away. ‘As a Head Boy I shouldn’t tolerate theft,’ he said coolly. ‘We have to get to the bottom of this.’ 

There was no way Draco’d believe that. ‘You’re bored!’ he exclaimed.

‘I am not bored!’ Potter stressed. ‘Listen, don’t you think there’s something off about this necklace disappearing? What if it falls in the wrong hands?’

‘Who’s wrong hands? The baddest boy in town is me.’ Draco huffed. ‘Just admit it, little cheat, you only care about the reward.’

‘I don’t,’ Potter claimed, then hesitated. ‘Not only that, at least.’

Draco snorted and Potter smiled. It made Draco relax a little.

Harry ruffled through his hair. ‘Where do you want to look first?’

Draco heaved a weary sigh. ‘You’re the boss, applesauce.’

Instant regret! He felt like slapping himself. What was up with the rhyming?

Potter just sniggered and took charge. First, they went to Filch, but the useless lump hadn’t found anything looking like a necklace. He did describe literally every other thing he’d seen in the past week. It would have been pure torture if Potter hadn’t been so funny, being too polite to interrupt him.

Crossing his arms, Draco watched the boy’s discomfort growing and growing as he nodded and nodded ever so kindly and kept trying and failing to form words to save them from the stuffy office – where they would probably have found their deaths if it was up to Filch and his fresh, gentle victim.

‘And then Thursday – or was it Wednesday? It might’ve been Wednesday…’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ Harry said. 

‘Yes, now that I think of it, I’m almost certain it was Wednesday, as I had done the roof maintenance earlier that day. I do that every Wednesday, you see, and only on Wednesdays. I have done it once on Fridays, but you would not– ’

‘What did you find?’ Potter cut in.

‘I’m getting at that,’ said Filch and Draco had to bite his fist to stop himself from laughing. ‘Anyway, as, er… as I was saying, it was then that I found – ah – in the Eastern Wing to be exact! In the Eastern Wing it was – where I found a rat; not a live rat, mind you! Though it could not have been – ’

Noting Potter’s clenched jaws and the knuckles of his fists going whiter and whiter, Draco decided he’d been gloating for long enough now.

‘A rat that size – although I must say it –…’

‘Thank you!’ Draco loudly interrupted. ‘Yes, thanks a lot!’ When the man only raised his voice to finish his story, Draco shouted over him, ‘Wrap it up, Filth! Wrap it up!’

‘Filch,’ muttered Potter. 

‘I-did-not-see-a-necklace!’ Draco counted on his fingers. ‘Galloping gargoyles, you could’ve said that in six words! Who’d have known? By Merlin, you’re the most useless person I ever had to listen to! Let’s go, Potter, those were fifteen minutes of our lives we won’t ever get back.’

‘Thanks,’ Potter mumbled as soon as they’d escaped Filch’s office.

‘No probert, Robert, I hope you’re not dragging me to Binn next, I use his lectures as a deep sleep mantra.’

Potter burst out laughing, he didn’t even hide it. It made Draco smile and try a little harder. ‘Or maybe you want to ask Trelawny? The inner eye sees all, after all.’

Harry half-groaned, half-laughed. ‘Lord have mercy…’

‘No? Don’t you want to hear about all the ways you might die today?’

‘I think we could come up with those ourselves, and it would save us from smelling like the Hog’s Head for the rest of the week.’

They were still laughing about that tosser Filch as they made their way down the Marble Staircase to Potter and Chang’s meeting with the Prefects.

Sitting on the Ravenclaw table, Draco watched the Head Boy effortlessly grab everyone’s attention, even Lavender Brown’s, and dryly joke about MacMillan’s five o’clock shadow. He then seized Draco by his robes to make him stand in front of the group and describe the necklace again.

After Potter and Chang told the Prefects about the activities of the coming week and all the things they had to pay extra attention to, Harry marched past Draco again. ‘Come on.’

When Draco fell into step, it occurred to him how good it felt. Over the course of the morning he’d started feeling as at ease as when he was wearing the pendant, and even though they were on a boring, fruitless quest, he was enjoying himself.

‘We will find it,’ said Potter, looking at Draco, who’d been silent since they left the Great Hall.

Draco just nodded.

They went back to the Slytherin Common Room to get Draco’s timetable and spent the entire rest of the morning hopping from classroom to classroom, searching the floors of all the corridors, staircases, classrooms and passageways that Draco might have crossed on the day he lost the pendant.

They did not find a trace of it.

When it was time for lunch, Draco was exhausted. ‘Honestly, Potter, it’s fine, it’s just gone. I’m fine with it.’

‘Well, I’m not.’

Draco was taken aback by the intensity of the words and the look on Potter’s face. ‘Course you’re not,’ he mumbled, looking away.

Potter backed down. ‘We can pick it up later.’

‘Pick it up later? And do what? We’ve searched everywhere!’

This time, Potter’s stare reminded Draco of Mad Eye Moody’s magical eye. He suppressed a shudder. ‘Leave it to me,’ Harry promised.

Draco took a breath and put his hands in the air. ‘Do your thing, chicken wing.’

At once, Harry’s face lit up in a grin. ‘I’ll do my best, chicken breast.’

A smile managed to break through Draco’s embarrassment, while he wondered what the heck was happening.

\\\

‘You said what?’ asked Pansy.

‘I am not repeating that.’

‘And he answered?’

Draco feared her mouth would never fully close again.

‘What’s happening to me? I know I lost all self-respect, but that’s no reason to keep rhyming, right?’

Pansy shrieked with laughter. ‘Keep? Keep rhyming? Good grief, Malfoy, what else did you say?’

Draco felt a heat rise to his face. He would’ve preferred not to, but for the sake of friendship he summed up all the idiotic things he’d spouted that morning.

She doubled over and almost fell off her chair from laughing. ‘Oh no! Draco, you turned into my dad! What are you gonna say next? “See you later, alligator”? “Buckle up, buttercup!”’’

Draco groaned. ‘Don’t give me ideas, please!’

//

‘Potter!’

Draco hadn’t meant to shout, the name just flew out as soon as he’d spotted the Head Boy, who had been talking to a first year in the Entrance Hall.

Potter turned and smiled. ‘Hi Malfoy.’

Draco had not thought this through; Potter clearly expected a reason for Draco’s shouting. Thinking fast, he motioned at the first year. ‘Why are you harassing the poor kid?’

Harry snorted. ‘I’m harassing him with the directions to the Gobblestone Club.’

‘Oh,’ was Draco’s witty reply.

He and Potter watched the first-year run away, and part of Draco begged to follow his lead. Most of him, though, searched frantically for an excuse to stay. The only thing he could come up with – the only reason he ever talked to Potter – was the search for the stupid pendant.

‘So,’ he drawled, ‘when did you want to “pick it up later”?’

Harry put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. ‘What’s left to do? Like you said, we’ve searched everywhere.’

‘Right…’ Draco chewed on the inside of his cheek.

To be fair, he wasn’t all too bothered anymore about losing the necklace. He still had nightmares, and they were still an absolute drag, and sure, his mother would not be happy he lost it, but they had an entire attic filled with heirlooms; how bad could one more or less be?

Maybe the pendant had made some lasting changes within him, because lately he felt calmer, even without it. There was a little bud of happiness inside him; the kind of happiness he had felt before the war; way before the war.

‘We could do something else,’ he heard himself suggest.

‘You’re bored!’ Harry’s smile was contagious and tamped Draco’s retort. Softly, Potter kicked his shoe. ‘What kind of thing?’

Draco shrugged. ‘I don’t mind,’ he blabbed before thinking.

Potter’s smile broadened, and Draco’s face felt hot. ‘I mean – Not that… I – er…’

Shuffling his feet, he came to the terrifying realisation that he meant exactly what he’d said: he truly didn’t mind what he was doing, as long as Potter was there. If he had to choose between playing the most exciting game in the world with one of his friends, or merely standing in a boring place with Harry Potter – he might be seriously tempted to choose Potter... 

‘I need to check out the Ravenclaw’s practice,’ Harry interrupted Draco’s confusion. He’d started walking and Draco traipsed along as if he was tied to Harry’s waist with a string. ‘Cho said they do this exercise where they have to keep six Quaffles in the game, but are only allowed to score with one of them. It’s to help them keep their focus, she says.’

They walked into the afternoon sunlight, where the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team was just rising into the air.

‘Sounds like a foolproof way to land me in St. Mungo’s,’ Draco drawled.

It made Harry laugh.

\\\

Advanced Potions Volume 7 felt cool against Draco’s cheek. If he closed his eyes for just a second –

‘Wakey wakey, little snakey.’ A beaming Head Boy fell down in the chair next to him.

It didn’t even startle Draco anymore. The last couple of days, Potter had popped up next to Draco at the most unexpected moments. How they kept bumping into each other was a mystery.

‘Found my necklace yet?’ Draco drawled, hardly lifting his head from his Potions book.

‘We’re getting closer.’ Harry seemed to be fully convinced of it.

‘Course we are…’

With a dull thud Draco’s head landed on the table when Potter took the book away. ‘Hey, Draco... why are you so tired?’

‘Why are you so obsessed with me?’ Draco retorted.

Obviously, that had been a joke, but when he glanced up, Potter had thrown the book at the table and was wiggling in his chair, looking over his shoulder as if searching for a way out.

Panicking, Draco sat up straight. Over these past days, he’d grown quite fond off Potter’s presence and often caught himself thinking of ways to keep him near for a little longer. Quickly, he admitted, ‘I don’t sleep well.’

Harry’s eyes locked on Draco’s. ‘What? Why not?’

Draco leaned his chin on his hand. ‘The psychological scars.’

‘Oh, I have those too,’ said Harry, as if they were comparing Chocolate Frog Cards. ‘You wake up screaming?’

Draco smirked. ‘I know some mean silencing charms.’

Harry looked like he wanted to break into Draco’s skull. ‘You should get some mean therapy, Draco.’

Draco scowled at him. ‘I _was_ fine! Until I lost that– ’

He coughed to cover up his slip of the tongue, but it was too late. When the Chosen One was on a quest, nothing escaped his attention.

‘It’s for sleeping?’ he hissed. ‘You need the necklace to sleep?’

‘No, no, no…’ Draco moaned, knocking his head on the table. ‘Piss off, Potter.’

‘You can use Sleeping Draughts for that! Pomfrey – ’

‘It’s so much more than a Sleeping Draught, dummy.’

Harry grabbed his shoulder. ‘What’s it do, Malfoy?’ he urged. ‘You shouldn’t trust – ’

Draco pulled himself loose and huffed. ‘It’s not dark, Potter.’

‘Then what is it?’

Taking a deep breath, Draco finally gave in, reluctantly. ‘It… absorbs unwanted emotion.’

Harry stared at him, silently.

‘It’s incredible,’ Draco whispered, overflowing with longing for his comfort object. ‘It’s instantly calming, and it doesn’t matter how nasty your feelings are, it takes it all away.’

Harry’s gaze drifted away. ‘Oh…’

‘What?’

Potter’s eyes darted back to Draco’s. Quickly, he shook his head. ‘Nothing.’

Draco snapped. ‘Liar! You know something!’

Harry jumped up. ‘No. No, I don’t, I just… remembered something. I left my – my book…’

‘Yeah, your book!’ Draco was shouting through the library, at the Saviour of the Wizarding World no less – this would not earn him any brownie points. ‘Dammit,’ he muttered, falling back in his chair.

He had to find out what Potter was hiding.

\\\

As often as he’d bumped into Potter before, so difficult was it to find him now. Draco was certain the boy was avoiding him; there was no way he just happened to be somewhere else than Draco every minute of every day, especially when he’d been nearby almost every minute of every day a week earlier.

It stung. He’d allowed himself to get attached to his moments alone with Harry. He wondered what the boy was up to and with who, and if he thought at all about Draco.

The worst thing was how alarmingly distracted Draco was by these worries. 

‘Malfoy!’

His head shot back to Goyle and Theo. ‘Hm?’

‘Who are you looking for?’

He quickly shook his head, before remembering these were supposed to be his confidants. ‘Have you seen Potter?’

‘Yeah, yesterday.’

Draco tried not to grab Goyle’s shoulders and shake him. Instead, he casually asked, ‘Where?’

‘You know, Quidditch practice.’

Draco frowned. ‘I was at Quidditch practice with you! I didn’t see him.’

‘That’s because he keeps bolting for you,’ sneered Theo. ‘What did you do?’

Draco scowled. ‘Ah... I yelled at him. I suppose.’

His friends laughed, but Draco touched the place where his pendant used to be. ‘I miss him.’

Only when Theo and Gregory both looked at him in bewilderment, did Draco realise what he’d just confessed. ‘Not very manly, I reckon,’ he added.

‘You in love with him or something?’ said Goyle.

‘No!’ Draco frowned. ‘I dunno… How can you tell?’

Theo snorted. ‘You’d know if you were.’

And that was all the answers Draco got. He reckoned he really wasn’t in love, though. How could he be, if he never wanted to overly touch The Boy Who Lived, or go to bed and wake up with him, for the rest of his life, and the terrifying way people described being in love in books was not how Draco felt about Harry Potter at all. Thinking about him as his boyfriend frankly just made him want to crawl away.

All of which was in conflict with his weird possessiveness over the boy. Why did he think so much about him? Why did he love spending time with him, no matter what they did? And why did the idea of having to move on in life without Harry feel like an insurmountable loss?

//

During their search for the pendant, Potter had given Draco a little insight in his schedule that he could nicely abuse now, so at nine o’clock the next Saturday morning, he followed the Prefects to the Great Hall, where Chang and Potter were waiting to hand out the orders of the week.

Harry didn’t seem his usual chippy self, Draco noted, and his mood only worsened when he spotted Draco hiding behind the prefects.

‘What do you want, Malfoy?’

Draco preened. ‘Top of the morning to you too, Potter…’

Potter crossed his arms and repeated the question.

‘I have an addition to my previous request for help,’ Draco pompously answered. ‘Can I?’

Harry stepped aside to give Draco the spotlight.

‘As you know, my necklace has been missing for quite some time now,’ Draco started. ‘I can imagine someone has found it and has been using it. It is, after all, a very helpful Malfoy heirloom. They should know, however, that using it is not without risk. The necklace should be cleansed every few days by someone who knows what they’re doing, otherwise the wearer could slowly descend into lunacy. I’d rather have the necklace back so I can clean it properly than see a fellow student lose their mind, and that way find out they’re a thief.’

A silence followed those words. Draco looked round at Potter, who had been staring at Draco’s back, but snapped out of it now. ‘Why didn’t you mention that sooner?’

Draco shrugged. ‘I didn’t care… sooner.’ He pointedly looked Potter in the eye at the last word.

Harry didn’t return the look. ‘Right. Get that message across to the other students,’ he told the prefects. ‘Thank you, Malfoy.’

The Prefects, and the Head Boy and Girl all waited and stared at Draco until he had swaggered out of the Great Hall. He could vaguely make out their muffled discussion. They sounded worried – that was how Draco liked it.

\\\

It wasn’t until Thursday afternoon’s Potions class that Draco saw Harry again. The boy stopped Draco on his way out. ‘Can we talk?’

‘You found the necklace?’

‘Something like that,’ mumbled Potter. He looked nervous and kept wiping his hands on his pants.

They ducked into an empty classroom. Draco sat down as Potter dawdled at the short end of the table.

‘Now, don’t get mad,’ he started, and flinched when Draco immediately shot him a hostile look. ‘Promise you won’t.’

‘I’m always mad! That’s why I need that pendant!’

Harry clenched his jaws. ‘Fine.’ He reached to the back of his neck – and lifted the Malfoy heirloom from underneath his shirt.

Draco gasped. ‘You!’

‘I’m sorry,’ Potter said, dropping the necklace on the table and hopping from one foot to the other in embarrassment. ‘I – You – It fell on the ground during Care of Magical Creatures. I wanted to give it back, but it… it felt nice.’

‘Yes, it felt nice! It’s a Malfoy heirloom!’

Potter winced. ‘Right. I am sorry.’

Draco sighed. He couldn’t even blame him, really; life was a lot easier with that pendant around your neck. At least he gave it back now.

‘Why’d you help me search if you had it this whole time?’

Harry shrugged. ‘I liked to help. I mean – it made me look less suspicious. Right?’

The necklace felt warm, almost hot, in Draco’s hands. ‘Oh man, you used it. Now I have to clean it. Merlin, Potter…’

Harry grabbed a chair and sat down a bit away from Draco, rocking his knee.

Because they just had Potions class, there were some test-tubes in Draco’s bag. He got them out and also reached to the bottom of his bag to grab a big piece of Clear Quartz. Laying them all on the table, he started the incantation. 

Draco’d cleansed the necklace several times before. Usually, this meant having to haul a large, mud-coloured waft of liquid-like smoke out of the pendant. It was nasty work, but mainly because of the knowledge that all those grotty feelings were pieces of himself.

This time though, when he yanked at his wand to get the dirty bits of Harry out, something unexpected happened. Instead of having to drag out the usual dung, powdery clouds of blood-red swirled effortlessly out of the pendant.

Draco whirled the contents into a test-tube and held them against the light. Only specks and stains of midnight blue disrupted the pleasing aesthetic.

‘What?’ asked Harry, his voice sounding higher than usual.

Draco’d almost forgotten he was there. ‘That’s not what it’s supposed to look like. What is that?’

Harry shrugged a few times, as if involuntarily, and seemed to be rehearsing what to say before he found his voice. ‘S-so, eh, is it clean now?’

Draco was much too fascinated by the weird colours to answer. He dug up another test-tube from his bag and extracted the blue from the red. Then he whirled the red cloud at the Clear Quartz to be absorbed by it.

‘What are you doing?’ asked Potter, quite loudly and still with that weirdly high voice. He edged closer, fervently rocking his knee now.

Draco frowned at the Quartz, which had taken over the blood red colour. ‘What did you do to my heirloom? I think it’s broken… Unwanted feelings are not supposed to look… pretty.’

Preparing himself for the worst, he picked up the Quartz – but nothing could have prepared him for the warm surge of feeling shooting from the tips of his fingers straight to his heart. A heat spread through his chest and made him feel soft, fuzzy and weak. His skin tingled and he felt like smiling, laughing, singing even, but most of all he felt a strange longing. A longing for closeness, physical touch; a warm hug, soft fingers and a happily ever after… He’d never felt anything like it before.

He dropped the stone. ‘Galloping Gargoyles!’

Potter was watching with wide, frightened eyes. ‘What?’ he said, his voice hoarse and breaking. He wasn’t moving at all anymore. ‘What happened?’

‘I don’t understand.’ Draco carefully touched the Quartz again, and the tingling giddiness flowed through him again. ‘Those are not bad feelings.’

Potter jumped up. His eyes shot from the stone to Draco. ‘You– you felt –… Did you just feel what I felt?’

‘Huh? What you–…? No, that can’t be. It’s supposed to absorb _bad_ feelings.’

Harry’s eyes darted almost unnoticeably to the other test-tube, and Draco’s followed. Before Potter could reach it, Draco quickly hauled the contents in the air with his wand and let the Quartz soak those up too.

‘No! Draco!’ Harry tried to grab the stone, but Draco got there first –

A sharp pain shot through his stomach. Mixed with the feelings of longing, it felt as if he was reaching out and had his arms cut off for trying.

He gasped and dropped the Quartz like it had burned him.

‘Ow…’

Potter looked terrified. Clutching his stomach, Draco sank down on the chair. ‘Potter… what the fuck.’

‘So... you get it now,’ Potter panted, ‘why I need that necklace.’

Before Draco could stop him, he had seized the pendant and ran off with it. Draco was too shook to respond.

//

‘Feel it,’ said Draco, hovering the Quartz in the air. He had extracted the blue from it again and tried to understand why the red could ever be unwanted.

Pansy jumped back, eying him in suspicion. ‘I don’t want to.’

‘Fine.’

Draco took out three quarters of the red substance, so the heat of the feeling died down to a soft glow. After he demonstrated it was safe to touch it, Pansy held it in her hand and her face lit up. ‘Aw, Draco… where did you buy this?’

‘What?’

‘It’s a sort of love potion, right?’

‘It’s not love,’ sneered Draco. ‘It’s much… weirder. Wait.’

He put the rest of the red into the Quartz, and Pansy gasped. ‘Boy! That’s so realistic!’

‘Realistic? You think it’s possible someone actually feels that? Naturally?’

Pansy snorted, putting down the stone. ‘Yeah, babe. That’s fireworks.’ She sighed, playing dreamily with a ring around her finger.

Frowning, Draco crossed his arms. Harry’s midnight blue suddenly wasn’t so unfamiliar anymore. ‘Who’s Potter have fireworks with?’ he grumbled.

\\\

‘Heya, Draco,’ said Harry quietly as he slid closer to him on one of the benches along the Quidditch field.

‘What’s up, buttercup?’ Draco muttered. His eyes were fixed on the Snitch, which seemed to be appearing and disappearing all over the sky. Cursing not only himself but also Pansy for putting those words in his head, he quickly added, ‘Their Seeker’s shite,’ and nodded at Hufflepuff’s most recent addition to the team – a fourth-year weakling with mousy hair and a terrible attention span.

‘He is,’ Harry mumbled.

Draco’s eyes darted over to Harry’s neck and he spotted his own necklace. It made him huff. ‘Glad to know at least one of us is sleeping well…’

‘Sorry,’ said Potter. He sounded so miserable it made Draco wince.

Awkwardly, Draco drew a line in the sand with his feet. ‘Hush,’ he mumbled. ‘I should say sorry. It was a prick move. Only, I – I didn’t think they were your real feelings. I thought the thing was broken. I wanted to understand.’

Harry was quiet for a while. Then he said, ‘Right. Now you do.’

Draco didn’t _really_. He wanted so badly to ask who those feelings of Harry’s were about, and how they’d possibly evoked all that, but Potter did not seem very keen to discuss it. Draco was kind of scared of the answer anyway.

Instead he asked for his pendant back. Potter clutched it through his shirt. ‘I – I don’t want to ruin things.’

‘What things?’ Draco snarled.

‘You know… Between us.’

Draco felt puzzled. ‘Then give it to me.’

Harry looked at him. ‘And go back to how it was? How I was? _You_ can do without it a lot better than I can.’

‘How would you know?’

Potter looked at his shoes. ‘I just know.’

Draco took a breath. ‘I don’t care,’ he forced himself to say, and he held out his hand.

The pendant simply wasn’t Potter’s to keep. If Draco wasn’t using it, it was supposed to go back into the family vaults.

Oh, how Draco wished he could duplicate it though. Seeing Harry like this pained him.

Potter pierced his eyes into Draco’s. ‘You don’t care?’ he repeated. ‘You wouldn’t care if we went back to fighting all the time, or not talking at all?’

‘Eh?’ Draco was completely lost now. ‘’Course I would. What does that have to do with anything?’

Potter seemed as confused as Draco was. ‘You–… Yesterday, you felt what _I_ feel for you, right? So you _know_ how I need this thing – to talk to you.’

Wide-eyed, Draco stared at him. His breathing had stopped.

‘I just… I like – this. Us.’ Potter said, bouncing his knees and rubbing his hands. ‘The way we are now. We could be – I don’t know – friends. We could have been years ago. Maybe. If I – if I had something like – like this necklace… I dunno… things could’ve been… different. I suppose… I’d hate that. I bloody hate feelings.’

‘Potter?’

‘Yeah?’ Harry’s head shot up, looking endlessly vulnerable, and Draco felt suddenly very protective.

‘Are you saying,’ he stammered. ‘Harry, are you telling me… you’re in love with me?’

Potter’s face slowly fell, and he turned as red as the powdery smoke from the pendant. ‘ _Oh_ – Oh no,’ he whispered, his eyes wide in mortification. ‘I thought you knew.’

Draco wanted to hide or laugh or – hug? Discomfort and delight were fighting for the upper hand within him.

He had to be honest, though, even if it was being honest about his confusion. ‘I – I don’t have all those feelings.’

‘I know,’ Harry quickly replied. ‘I saw your face yesterday. You don’t have to – ’

‘No, I don’t mean I don’t – er…’

This time, Harry seemed to stop breathing. ‘Huh?’

‘What do I do,’ asked Draco, ‘to make you stop hurting?’

Harry blinked. ‘You can’t.’

‘Potter, what do you need?’ Draco urged.

The shouts of the Quidditch players faded to the background. The afternoon sunlight felt hot on Draco’s black trousers.

There were tiny freckles around Harry’s nose, and his voice faltered when he whispered, ‘Love me back.’

Draco leaned closer. ‘I am loving you back.’ He saw Potter’s confusion. ‘Only… differently, I think. Does that matter?’

‘Does it matter,’ Harry repeated blankly.

‘I am very fond of you,’ Draco stressed. ‘Tell me what to do, Harry – you want to hold hands?’

‘Are you serious?’ asked Harry.

‘Yes, Potter, I swear. Please don’t fall in love with someone else.’

‘Hold on.’ Harry reached up to drop the necklace in Draco’s bag like it was something annoying that would get in the way. Then, with a sigh, he leaned against Draco, resting his messy head on his shoulder. His warm hand nudged around Draco’s leg.

Draco relaxed against the warmth of Harry’s shoulder, feeling himself smile more broadly than he’d done in years. Lightly tracing his fingertips along the lines of Harry’s arm, he watched the boy in quiet admiration.

‘This is all I need,’ Harry whispered.

Draco couldn’t agree more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and please leave a comment if you enjoyed it :) it will make my day.
> 
> This fic was inspired by [ Infuse with affection, enchant with love ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20652239/chapters/49042691) by Bafflinghaze. Go read it, I loved it.


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